the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
