you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
