Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
