Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
