I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
