i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
