hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
