why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
