Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Success! We fucked roommates!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize