Well douche your snatch and let's go!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
