im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
