dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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