he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize