I feel like abortions should bother me more
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize