i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
