I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This toilet bowl is my home.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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