go do what you do best...puke behind churches
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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