Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
