So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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