yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
