So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
