Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
