Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
