Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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