yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
how can u be prego again
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
