3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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