Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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