what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
