Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
