I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
