i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
