its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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