I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
