its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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