i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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