Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
