Sponge bath it is.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Randomize
