at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
