i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
