so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
