Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
