We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
