I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
