Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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