maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
