I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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