Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
