y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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