He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize