All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
