u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
