went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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