Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
