Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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