She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
