just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
