please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
