you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
