the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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