i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
