like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
