she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
