I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
