My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize